Summer Shoes

I love summer. It is my #1 favorite season. Unfortunately in NY summer is way too short, which means that I look forward to it for 9 months out of the year. Ok, I'm exaggerating, I can handle the end of spring and the beginning of fall. So 7 months.

I love summer clothes. I love tank tops, t-shirts, short jeans, dresses. Along with clothes comes shoes! I LOVE summer shoes!

Last night I had to run to the mall to pick up some stuff for work and stopped by Journey's. First of all, they have the douchiest kids working there. I asked a guy for a size and he goes, "No we don't have those shoes." So I stare at him blankly. Then he says, "Just kidding, what size do you need?" After I just told him. Sorry, you're not weird or different or unique, you're just a kid working at the mall. Anyway.

I bought these:

and these:

I'm not really a Roxy type of girl (I don't know what that means, I just don't have anything else that's Roxy) but I thought the seersucker-like material was really cute. And Vans are classic. When I was out in San Francisco last Spring I went shopping with B to all his sneaker and clothing stores and ended up buying a pair of black and white plaid KVD's (they're like the Vans slip-ons but more low-profile and girlier) at HUF. I love them because they're light and casual, so they're perfect for my job or, if I can keep them clean enough (everything I wear to work gets gross), for just hanging out.

I've been looking for new sandals and other cute summer shoes but most of the stores don't have too many out yet. I always do this, buy everything really early in the season and save it all up for when it's actually warm. Which is a long ways away considering I'm wearing knee socks and layers today.

Sundays! Jewish Deli / Shopping / Movies

This morning we woke up at the early hour of 11:30am (Oh how I lovvvve Sundays) and made tons of plans. Plans that included going to Home Depot and getting massive amount of large shelving and redesigning the entire store. Then, we stopped and thought about how much work that is, how much time it would take, how unprepared we are, etc. So we didn't. We decided (well Brian decided and then convinced me) to take it slow, plan it all out on paper with proper measurements and details, then get all the supplies and be organized about it. I don't think that way at all. I like to just jump into things and figure them out as I go along, but with a project this big I'm kind of glad I have him to keep me in check.

Instead of doing all this pro-active work stuff on our day off, we went to the Jewish deli and got a delicious lunch:

I got a hot pastrami on rye, a square knish and as much coldslaw and sour pickles as I could possibly eat. Bri got a fresh turkey sandwich and a round knish. SO good. It was exactly what I wanted.

On our way out of the deli I noticed a store right next door with a huge sign that said "Free People". I didn't even realize it was a clothing store when we passed it originally. We went in and I was really excited to see so many clothes I loved. I tried stuff on and bought some things:

L to R: a pair of grey jeans from J Brand, a Free People hoodie and an I Love NY Hello Kitty tank top.

The hoodie and tank were on sale and the jeans were cheaper than anywhere else I've seen them. I've actually been on a search for the perfect pair of grey jeans and these are them! I just need to get them tailored (the joy of being 5'1").

Now I'm back at the apartment updating my iPod while B and Sean are watching TV. We're going to see I Love You, Man later. We were going to go last night but last minute I changed my mind. I used to have a pretty bad anxiety problem but I'm almost completely over it now. The only places I still get a little anxious are at the movies and on the subway. For some reason I had a weird feeling last night that I would get anxious so I bailed before I had the chance. I expected them to go still but they decided to stay and wait for me. I heard it's really funny so I'm psyched.

Punk Rock

I ran into an old friend of mine (I see him every so often) and he said he wanted to post on my facebook during the week because he downloaded an Adolescents cd and it reminded him of me. He said the first time he heard of them was when I made him a cassette of their music when he was a freshman in high school. I remember I got that CD at Soapbox Records on St. Marks Place. It's so funny, I still love that band whenever I hear them. I don't think to listen to them too often, only when I'm feeling nostalgic or trying to channel my punk rock teenager self.

I used to be so into it. When I was 15/16 I had pink hair and purple hair and used to go to shows all the time. My exboyfriend had pink and orange spikey hair and was in a band. I would wear fishnets, plaid skirts, leopard print everything, multi-colored patent leather Doc Martens and go to St. Mark's to all the punk stores to buy my stuff (Freaks and Trash & Vaudeville had the best clothes and jewelery). I had a camo bag with patches and pins and studs all over it. I liked pop punk type stuff like NOFX, the Descendents, MxPx, the Bouncing Souls, Operation Ivy, Anti-Flag and "street punk" type stuff like the Unseen, the Casualties, Violent Society, A Global Threat, etc. It's actually really funny to think about now. I thought I was so bad ass. Thank god I had cool parents who let me do whatever because it really allowed me to grow and explore and figure out who I wanted to be. Of course I went through some weird phases (at different times in my life I've been a wanna-be ghetto princess, skater girl, punk rock, raver, rockabilly, hardcore straight-edge) but it all led me to who I am today. You could never tell by looking at me that I've been into all that stuff but it's MUCH better that way. I don't look like I'm trying to play a part and I can't be pigeon-holed at a glance.

I wish I had this photo of me on my computer at work. It's me at 15, with purple hair, a plaid bondage skirt and an Unseen shirt outside a show at CBGB's. I have to dig that up and completely embarass myself. **EDIT** Found it!


This is a song from the Adolescents, I actually got this song in my head about a month ago and it caused me to tear apart my parents' house trying to find the record:

Catch-up / Dinner / NCAA / Hair

I can't believe it's Saturday already! So far this week has been nothing but me playing catch up. I relish Sunday as my one day a week off, but last Sunday was awful! I woke up with a stomach thing and spent the entire day on the couch watching college basketball. Pros: It only lasted a day and I got every single Saturday and Sunday game on my bracket right. Cons: Vom'ing, liquid diet, all that good stuff and I didn't get a chance to do any chores.

I felt sick still Monday and Tuesday so I took it easy, came home straight from work, cleaned the house, etc. Same for Wednesday, then Thursday we met up with Sean at the mall for dinner (plus B and I had to go to Bed Bath and Beyond for some house stuff) at the Cheesecake Factory. SO good. I didn't eat lunch so I got a bunch of small plates (shrimp scampi crostini, stuffed mushrooms, fried zucchini and fried artichoke hearts with a lemon aioli) and completely gorged myself. We met up with Brendan, Christine and a bunch of other people at Buffalo Wildwings to watch the college basketball games (I ended up being tied for first at the end of the night) and then had them over our house to watch the end of the late game.

Yesterday was a good day, too. I re-potted my sunflowers in 3 gallon containers, put the flowering light over them and re-set the timer for shorter days, so hopefully they'll start coming out soon. After work I had a hair appointment, which was my first hair appointment since October. I NEVER go that long between dyes/cuts but with work and the business I seriously haven't had time. Also I was really unhappy with my last colorist (she does my mom's hair and does an awesome job but for some reason she was never thorough with mine). The first (and last) two times she did my hair she didn't cover my highlights enough and I had a band where my roots met my old highlights...not very noticeable but if I'm paying for my hair to be done I want it to look good. So I made an appointment at this salon I used to go to when I was in high school and asked for the best colorist they have, which was the owner. She did an awesome job! She did exactly what I wanted and even noticed that the color didn't cover the highlights 100% and offered to have me come back in for free to re-apply. I have to wash it and see what it looks like because right now I honestly can't even tell. She was just very thorough and professional, plus it was cheaper than any place I've ever gone. For a semi-reparative dye and cut it was $110. When I lived in Brooklyn I was paying close to $300 for my highlights and cut. Crazy!

I got sushi after the salon (no meat Fridays is getting hard, I almost got a hero from the Italian deli for lunch by accident) and came home. Sean and Brendan were over and we hung out, watched basketball and ate dinner, then went to a birthday party at a local bar/restaurant. A lot of our friends were there and it was a fun night. We watched the NCAA games and I went down to 2nd place in our bracket challenge.

That is my week in review. =)

P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude)

I consider myself a pretty positive person. These past few days, though, I've been so bitter! I find myself getting really mad over so many small things. For instance:

- Yesterday, I forgot to water my sunflowers (sooo, I've been slacking pretty bad with the updates!) so I came back to the store and got a spot right in front. There was a car double parked in the middle of the street a little ways up the block. When I parked, the driver jumped out of the car and started waving at me so I waved back. I got out of the car and he started screaming at me that he was taking that spot, and didn't I see him? I said "no, I didn't see you, you were all the way up the block with no blinker on, but I'll be less than 5 minutes if you want to wait." He kept going on and on about it, while I'm standing there with my key in the door to the store, so finally I was like, "I got the spot, get over it" and went to go inside. Then he said, "What is the matter with you?" Normally I'd just keep walking but that set me off. "What's the matter with me? You're the one who's out of your car, screaming at me in the middle of the street over a parking spot that I didn't even know you were taking. What's the matter with YOU?" I totally shouldn't have let myself get that mad, but I did.

- Today I noticed a couple of finches hopping around outside the store. In the spring and summer I put out bird seed for them and they all sit around and eat it. I put some on the curb and went inside to do some work. I noticed this guy (a neighborhood guy, he lives on the block) kicking all the birdseed into the sewer. He got in his car and drove away before I could yell at him but I was SO heated. I know it's not a big deal, I went outside and put more out and that was the end of it, but I just didn't see why it bothered him THAT much that he had to kick it into the sewer. I found myself stewing about it like 10 minutes after the fact.

Finches eating last summer

I guess I need to just chill out a little bit. It's crazy how little things can completely affect your mood. I got to talk with my dad earlier and vent about some stuff that was bothering me so that really helped. I never realized how much my parents are really two of my best friends. I can talk to them about anything and everything and they always give me awesome advice. I really value that. Sean and I were talking about a mutual friend (I was definitely hesitant to call them a friend, which means they aren't really) and a (terrible) decision he made recently. Sean had said, "Why didn't his dad turn around and be like, "What the fuck are you doing??" Mine would have." It's true, mine would have, too. Good parents are sometimes hard to come by and I completely appreciate mine.

Alpha-Female

I am an alpha-female. My friend Sean called me that on Saturday and it's so true. I have guy-like tendencies, which I can only attribute to hanging out with my dad all the time when I was growing up. He wanted a son and in turn raised me as one. He claims he didn't, he just raised me like a kid, but he did things with me that a father would do with a son. We played catch, I would go with him to work on boats, he gave me an old socket wrench set as a toy, I wore jeans and t-shirts and sneakers instead of dresses and skirts. I had legos and cars (don't get me wrong, I had Barbies, too, but I preferred my cars over the Barbies). It's not all my dad's fault, my mom was never a girly girl. She didn't teach me the proper girl things like how to do my hair and how to put on makeup.

Looking at me now you would never consider me a tom-boy. I grew into a strong female, but if you look under the surface I am not typical. I am tough and proud (sometimes to a fault), I'm hard-working, I have that "provider" drive that is instilled in men from the time they're born, I'm sort of lax about things that guys are usually lax about (familial obligations, cleaning, cooking, etc...I care about those things to an extent but it all comes down to time) I am a slight control-freak. The control-freak part is what Sean pointed out. I like being the one to drive. I hate the way Brian drives, and not in the typical "OMG you're going too fast" girlfriend type of way. I feel like he doesn't have complete control of the car, like he's not experienced enough to drive the way he wants to. I admittedly drive fast and aggressively, but never reckless. I know exactly what I'm doing at all times and enjoy it. Saturday we were on the Henry Hudson and Westside Highway (my favorite roads to drive on...I blame it on when I used to commute) and I was driving in a way that Brian LIKES to drive in, but he is reckless about it. Sean said, "If Bri were driving right now you'd be having a heart attack," and it's true. Don't get me wrong, I definitely have that female side to me. He's affectionately nick-named me "Mama Linds" when I get my maternal side going.

Sometimes I don't like that masculine side of me. Like with the situation with my old friends. I got mad and offended and hurt, and instead of talking things out and emailing back and forth, I got all, "this is bullshit, fuck you then." Which might not have been the best response. I was unwilling to bend, and everytime I thought about everything I got so mad that I couldn't even bring myself to deal with. Typical guy behavior. I've learned from that, though.

My friend Carla and I were having problems, which was news to me today. I emailed her to say hi because I haven't talked with her lately and she wrote me back an email telling me how something I did bothered her. Even though I had to be the one to email her, I respect the fact that she was real with me instead of being fake, like "HI! I'm good! What's up with you?" which is what I think my old friends would have done. I got a little too proud for a second, then stopped and thought about it and wrote her back a thought out and honest email. I hope everything works out because I consider her a good friend. It's true what they say, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Firsts, lasts, future, current

I was reading an old online journal of mine earlier and found all these funny/nostalgic/sad entries from a long time ago. I went back to around this time 5 years ago and found this survey:

.FIRSTS.
First best friend: stephanie samele
First car: '95 pontiac grand prix
First date: went to see the nutty professor
First real kiss: ian schuler
First break-up: ^
First screen name: sunshine823 or something like that
First self purchased album: new kids on the block - hangin' tough
First funeral: mr. beman
First pets: kayne the best german shepard in the world
First piercing/tattoo: nostril at 14
First credit card: none to this day, because i am smart.
First true love: brian
First enemy: valerie popov
First musician you remember hearing in your house: steve miller band

.LASTS.
Last car ride: from work to home tonight
Last kiss: brian
Last good cry: i don't remember
Last library book checked out: 9-11 by noam chomsky
Last movie seen: true romance
Last beverage drank: diet "spin" cola
Last food consumed: broccoli and cheddar bread bowl from panera
Last crush: who do you think?
Last phone call: my mom
Last time showered: last night
Last shoes worn: black maryjanes for work
Last cd played: skarhead - kings of crime
Last item bought: school girl nike dunks
Last annoyance: my cellphone's shitty battery life
Last disappointment: brian not being able to download the movie "honey" for me.
Last time wanting to die: today at work? no i'm kidding, not recently at all.
Last time scolded: yesterday, for "leaning" at work.
Last shirt worn: blondie t-shirt
Last website visited: amazon.com
Last word you said: "yeah"
Last song you sang: j-kwon - tipsy
What is in your cd player?: at home: the cure - greatest hits disc 1, in car: skarhead - kings at crime
What color socks are you wearing?: black (still in my work clothes)
What color of underwear are you wearing?: purple
What's under your bed?: posters, paper cutter, hello kitty pillow
What time did you wake up today?: 9am

FUTURE
Where do you want to go?: everywhere.
What is your career going to be?: i have no idea.
Where are you going to live?: probably new york. i don't think i'm ever going to leave again.
How many kids do you want?: none. i hate them.
What kind of car(s): who cares?

CURRENT
Current mood: anxious
Current music: none.
Current taste: soda.
Current hair: in a ponytail
Current clothes: black maryjanes, black socks, black gap pants, black blondie tshirt
Current annoyance(s): same as the last...my cellphone's battery life SUCKS.
Current longing: more money i guess?
Current desktop picture: shinkansen
Current favorite artist: warhol
Current book(s): truman capote - in cold blood (yes, still)
Current color of toenails: unpolished
Current time-wasting wish: to have more money.
Current hate: miserable people who get joy only from making other people miserable, people who act like friends but really aren't, working my ass off just to get by.

It's funny to read and see what has changed since then. It seems like it was yesterday but it was 5 years ago! Here are what my answers would be today:

.FIRSTS.
First best friend: stephanie samele
First car: '95 pontiac grand prix
First date: went to see the nutty professor
First real kiss: ian schuler
First break-up: ^
First screen name: sunshine823 or something like that
First self purchased album: new kids on the block - hangin' tough
First funeral: mr. beman
First pets: kayne the best german shepard in the world
First piercing/tattoo: nostril at 14
First credit card: none to this day, because i am smart.
First true love: brian
First enemy: valerie popov
First musician you remember hearing in your house: steve miller band

.LASTS.
Last car ride: to work this morning
Last kiss: Brian
Last good cry: Sunday, I was cranky and stressed
Last library book checked out: I don't even remember, but my most recent book purchase was, "No One Belongs Here More Than You," by Miranda July
Last movie seen: Role Models for the 2nd time on Saturday night
Last beverage drank: Illy coffee
Last food consumed: pistachio macarons
Last crush: B
Last phone call: a customer at work
Last time showered: This morning
Last shoes worn: brown Chuck Taylors
Last cd played: A-Trak - Dirty South Dance
Last item bought: Hooks and bins from the Container Store (boring)
Last annoyance: the rain
Last disappointment: it's not warm today
Last time wanting to die: Never!
Last time scolded: I don't even remember, I love being an adult!
Last shirt worn: tan Abercrombie sweater
Last website visited: gmail
Last word you said: ok
Last song you sang: Dead and Gone by Justin Timberlake and TI (thanks radio, I've had it stuck in my head all morning)
What is in your cd player?: At home: Amy Winehouse and Thrive Mix, in the car: DJ Dara - Full Circle...but I mostly just put my iPod on random
What color socks are you wearing?: white Juicy knee highs that say "Sweet Couture O' Mine" in pink and brown
What color of underwear are you wearing?: tan
What's under your bed?: Nothing
What time did you wake up today?: 9:30am

FUTURE
Where do you want to go?: Everywhere (I'm keeping that answer)
What is your career going to be?: This, the store.
Where are you going to live?: probably new york. i don't think i'm ever going to leave again. (I'm keeping that answer, too...although if it weren't for family and work I'd be in Cali)
How many kids do you want?: At the moment, none. In the future, who knows? Maybe one or two?
What kind of car(s): I'd love the get an Infiniti G35 or G37, or an Audi, but I try my hardest not to be flashy. That might change, though.

CURRENT
Current mood: tired
Current music: none.
Current taste: macarons and coffee
Current hair: down and curly
Current clothes: jeans, brown tank top, tan sweater, brown chucks, black vest (I know I'm inside, but it's cold in here!)
Current annoyance(s): same as the last...the rain
Current longing: summer
Current desktop picture: a picture of shells I took in Ocean Beach, CA
Current favorite artist: I still love Seonna Hong
Current book(s): Not my favorite just current that I'm reading, "No One Belongs Here More Than You," by Miranda July and "Garlic and Sapphires," by Ruth Reichl
Current color of toenails: Something About Pink by MAC
Current time-wasting wish: to have more free time
Current hate: bad drivers, cold weather

Never Not Working

This tee is the story of my life lately. Or not so lately. I don't mind it because I love my job, but ever since my dad left and I've been running the company I've been so engulfed in my work it's crazy. I work 6 days a week, and even sometimes 7. Just this Sunday I stopped by to check on some things. I bring work home with me (both literally and figuratively). Saturday I was out front talking to one of the parking ticket guys and he said I'm "one hard-working lady". I took that as a huge compliment because I seriously pride myself on my work ethic. This is NY and we're in a dog-eat-dog financial climate. You work as hard as you can, for as long as you can, and then, after you've made your money, you enjoy it. While you're working you take breaks when you can, go on a vacation here and there, eat good, spoil yourself sometimes and make the best of it.

My dad is a huge inspiration to me. I look at what 13 years of very hard work and dedication got him. I say 13 years because that's how long we've been in business but he's worked his entire life to get to this point. Granted, he hasn't made the best choices in his past but he had to provide for us somehow, and look what it lead him to. He's 60 years old and is able to take the winter off and live on his boat with my mom and cruise around the islands. He's established a great business with loyal clientele (I'd go as far as to call many of them friends). He created something that I've learned and, god willing, will help me provide for my family the same way it has for us. Whenever I stop and think about where we were and where we are, I can't help but spill over with pride for him. I think that's what makes me really appreciate all he's done and what we have, because we didn't always have it.

Entroducing...

SAMMY! This is Sammy, my new 10 week old chinchilla (he's sleeping in this photo). I got him last week and he's so awesome. We got him this crazy cage with four levels and slides and tunnels and a hammock. He loves it, however upon doing further research we found out that plastic can be toxic to chinchillas if chewed. And they chew on everything. So B went crazy and ordered all these wooden shelves and chinchilla-safe toys (a flying saucer that they run on...insane) so we're going to replace everything once that comes in the mail. He hasn't figured out he can chew on it yet so I think we're safe for a few more days. What I love about him is that he sleeps during the day and gets crazy at night, so we come home from work right as he's waking up. The past few nights when we've been playing with him he's tried getting out of the cage. I need to get one of those pen things that I can set up in the living room so he can run around and chill with us but not get lost under the couch or anything. I'm so glad B likes him, I was afraid he'd immediately veto the idea but he's into it.

PS: The title of this post is a DJ Shadow reference, I totally know how to spell.

Breakfast of Champions

Macarons & Illy coffee

Pistachio macarons are my absolute favorite! I'm so glad they had them this morning (they're usually out whenever I look for them), and Illy makes the best coffee. The French bakery by my job is my favorite breakfast spot.

This is me being open and vulnerable.

In my very first post on this blog I wrote that I tend to subconsciously start new journals/blogs when I feel like I'm entering into a new chapter of my life. I wrote, "There have been a ton of other things going on and many more transitions I've had to deal with lately but I'll save those for another date."

I guess this is that date.

I'm a loner, by definition, but I'm sort of a secret loner. Growing up I was an only child. I have a small family and I was the first grandchild. My parents were sort of antisocial so they didn't make play-dates with me and their friends' kids. I learned very early on how to spend time alone and enjoy my own company. I grew up living in my own head. Reading books, writing in my journals (I had my first journal when I was 5), tagging along with my dad when he was on his boat jobs and playing on the docks (he was a boat mechanic/diesel technician for a lot of my childhood...my favorite was when he was the mechanic for the 79th St. Boat Basin).

As I got older I made friends, had sleepovers, went out on the weekends, did normal girl things. All my best friends moved, though, and left me to find new best friends. My best friend in 1st & 2nd grade was Jenny, an "army brat" who had to leave when her dad got re-stationed. My best friend in 3rd & 4th grade was Megan, who went off to private school. In 5th grade I made "friends" (more like frienemies) with this girl M. She was my best friend and worst enemy all at once. She would make fun of me behind my back to our other friends, turn friends against each other because she was bored, stole from me, etc. Maybe your typical girl stuff, except I was never like that. Over the years we stayed friends, though (along with K). We had our group and some people came in and out of the group but we always stayed. We were best friends throughout Middle School, High School, College and then into our young adult-hood. We got over our little-kid problems and grew into actual best friends.

As of last year there were 5 of us who were still friends. There was always a lot of drama and talking behind peoples' backs, lots of high school stuff (that said, there were PLENTY of awesome, fun memories, the drama just happened to follow). It all came to a head somewhere around August.

Basically it went like this:

Brian and Sean don't get along with a male friend of ours. Mel was having a birthday party and asked me not to bring them. Instead of letting them be adults and make the decision themselves, instead of asking them herself, instead of staying out of it. I thought that was rude. I told her so and didn't go to the party. M and I talked about it, she agreed with me. M had a party a month later. When sending out invitations, she sent Brian and Sean separate emails starting with, "I'm sending out invitations to my birthday party and you won't be getting one." She sent me an email saying how we'll always be us and how she's my best friend, etc. I appreciated the email but couldn't believe she turned around and did the same thing Mel did. I was put in a position to choose between my friend and my bf and other friend, when I felt like it wasn't even necessary. I felt like adults shouldn't be doing things like that. Adults should let other adults make their own decisions. It shouldn't have become that big of a deal.

So I took a step back. I was hurt. I would never do that to my friends, I would never make them feel like I was choosing someone else over them. I would treat their boyfriends like they were just extenstions of them, with respect. Because it involved Brian and Sean, there was a lot of talking behind my back and a lot of lies. I felt betrayed. Best friends should have open lines of communication. They should ask questions and not make assumptions. The whole situation felt very high school ("You can't come to my birthday party because you were mean to my friend,") and I couldn't handle it. I was just over it completely. I called M to say Happy Birthday and haven't talked to anyone since. I received a drunken text from M one Sunday during the football season and an email from another friend H who hadn't bothered to talk to me for 6 months. Besides that no one has reached out and neither have I.

It's hard because part of me misses the friendships we had. We were best friends for practically 15 years. Mel, H and I for about 10. That seems like forever. Then I was reading Chelsea's blog last week. She wrote:

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about all of the things that we keep past the point of going bad; jobs, friends, relationships, that random package of gravy mix?, our presence at a party after the clock strikes midnight and everyone has turned into really fucked up versions of themselves and yet you continue to stay anyway.

The excuses always come down to really inexcusable things like; "but there's so much history...I'm not going to throw it away because we would have wasted so many years together."

It's true. I guess it's done. It's sad but I think we all just grew into different people with different values and ideals.

It was really hard for me to write this entry. I think because I hadn't fully faced it yet, I hadn't come to terms with it. I wanted to write it back in December but I wasn't ready to yet.

Grandparents, macarons and chinchillas

Today I slept in, accidentally (thanks Daylight Savings). I wanted to go see my grandparents and Brian had to go to Brooklyn to see his family so we went our separate ways. I went to my favorite local French bakery and got coffee and macarons. I love their pistachio but they only had lemon and raspberry so I got a box for me and one for my grandma. I went to see her at the nursing home she stays at. She was sad because my mom's been gone for so long but luckily my mom called while I was there so they got to talk for a little while. I stayed for about an hour, then went to my grandpa's house to drop off her laundry. My grandpa does her laundry and sends it back with either me, my uncle or one of the guys that works for him. I hung out with my grandpa for 3+ hours, just talking and cooking. He was making food for himself (calamari and shrimp in fra diavolo sauce) and ended up giving it to me to bring home to Bri. He loves Brian. They've got this big-guy bond. It makes me really happy that he has my grandpa's seal of approval. Today was honestly one of the best days off I've had in awhile. I got to see my family and eat good food. OH! I also stopped by a pet store on the way up to my grandma's to look around and see if they had any cute bunnies. Last night I decided I wanted to get a new bunny. I had one for 5 years but he passed away in 2003.


I was really sad for awhile but I think I'm ready for a new one. My old bunny had floppy ears and I wanted my new one to have them, too. I even picked out a name: Flops. I didn't see any cute bunnies today, however I completely fell in love with a chinchilla! Before I had a bunny I had a chinchilla. His name was Charlie and he was awesome. I've always wanted another one! I impulsively put a deposit down on a beige male chinchilla and tomorrow after work Brian's going to come with me to the store and meet him and hopefully take him home. I was nervous Brian would want to kill me, he's told me many times that he doesn't want a small pet, only a dog (which we can't have right now). He's kind of into the idea, though. I caught him looking at chinchilla cage reviews online. I'm really excited! My landlord doesn't allow pets but hopefully he won't mind/know.

Lent, Easter, Chocolate

Religion is always a touchy subject for people. I don't like to talk about it much because everyone has different views. My dad is an Atheist (Jewish by blood but it ends there), my mom is Roman Catholic and raised me as such. She's very "whatever" about it, though. When I was younger she enrolled me in religion class, made me complete my sacraments and after confirmation let me do what I wanted. My middle name is Sunshine, not even a saint's name, much to my Grandma's dismay. Growing up she used to lie to me and say my middle name was Catherine, but that was just my baptismal name. I try to go to church at least once a year but that usually doesn't happen. I do celebrate the holidays in my own way, though. This year for Lent I gave up chocolate. Which is very sad. Not only do I love chocolate all year long, Easter candy is my absolute favorite. I look forward to it for an entire year. This is seriously one of the biggest sacrifices I've made in awhile. To combat it, I've decided to not stop buying it. Every time I see a Cadbury Creme Egg or Cadbury Mini Eggs and I get the urge to buy them, I will. I'll save them up until Easter comes and then I will devour them.

No Car Payments

5 years ago my mom and I went to the car dealership and I got a car. It was a 2001 Honda Civic and I loved it. My first car was a hand-me-down from my mom, a red 1995 Pontiac Grand Prix. It was huge, guzzled oil and had to be serviced many times in the 2 years I had it (including a new transmission...ouch). So, when I test drove my little Honda I immediately knew it was the car for me. It was compact (at that time I was living in street-parking hell), zippy, comfortable and, most importantly, affordable. I put down a decent chunk and financed the rest over 5 years. My payments were low, less than $200 a month. Last week I made my last payment and yesterday in the mail I received my notice of lien clearance from Honda and the DMV. It's such an accomplished feeling and a huge sense of relief! I own my car. As much as I would love to drive a new shiny car, and I'm constantly going back and forth over it, I am very sentimental about my car. We've been together through so much! We've driven down to Florida and lived there for awhile, lived in NJ and drove on the turnpike almost every weekend to see my parents, driven to many different states on road trips, lived in Brooklyn with me and commuted back and forth for three hours a day, got hit by an overzealous ambulance with no lights or sirens on and taken me to and from many good memories. I love MY car!

That said, Infiniti G35's and G37's are really pretty and a girl can daydream a little, right?

Sunflower Progress 5, Winter Blues & Tanning

I accidentally deleted 2 days worth of sunflower progress photos. Oops. Here are my photos for today:


The high output fluorescent lighting makes it hard to get a good photo that isn't too washed out. You can't really tell but they all have their first set of real leaves. Exciting. It should be warming up this weekend (it's already near 50 today) so hopefully they'll start growing a little faster.


I honestly can't wait for the Spring. I'm not made for the winter! I'm little and always cold. Usually I get the whole seasonal depression thing, or at least a touch of it. After I came back from the Bahamas in January I realized how much the sun had helped me and my mental health. I started going to the tanning place once or twice a week and it has really helped keep my winter blues at bay. Also it's really helped my skin a lot. In the winter I tend to break out because of my complete combination skin. Either my skin is trying to overcompensate for its dryness by producing excess oil or my pores are getting clogged because I'm using too much moisturizer. The "sun" fixes that problem immediately. I know it's fake, I've always made fun of girls who go to tanning salons. You can spot that orange glow a mile away. If you do it right, though, it looks completely normal and natural. I use the best booth with the least amount of UVA and UVB rays and I'm pretty much my normal color just a little more brown.

Reason #1 why I love snow days (the only reason)

Monday was a Snow Day for Carla so she came to hang out at the shop and brought my favorite little asshole with her:

This is Brooklyn. She's the best/worst ever and I love her. She's a 2 1/2 year old blue AmStaff. She's actually looking for a good permanent home, which makes me kind of sad because I'd love to keep her but unfortunately can't right now.

Sunflower Progress 4

I came into work on Monday to find that my sunflower seedlings were ready to be transplanted and put under a better light. So I did:


I put them in 1 gallon containers and labeled them with which food I'm feeding them. I put them up on wooden crates that my dad had in the back. I love the crates. Someone actually came in recently asking if he could have them because he collects old crates. I felt bad saying no but I think they're awesome and didn't really want to part with them. They have the names of dairies in NYC on them.

Here are the sunflowers Tuesday:


They're coming along pretty well for only being 1 week old from seed. I haven't gotten my photos up from today yet but the second set of leaves are coming in. It's been really cold in here these past few days and that's definitely inhibited growth but it should be warming up soon.

Sunday City Shopping

Today is our best friend Sean's birthday so yesterday Bri and I went into the city in search of birthday presents. We started out in Soho and were very successful with gifts. He may or may not read my blog so I'm not saying what they are. We also ended up doing some shopping for ourselves. I got two new nailpolishes at MAC (Shirelle and Dark Angel) and since I never got my Hello Kitty tote bag with my original Hello Kitty purchases he gave me one with my normal purchases. I got an awesome mug in the MoMa store! The handle makes it look like you're wearing a diamond ring:


I didn't realize that the Tokidoki Capsule Store is right next to Union on Spring St.. We were in Union for Bri and Sean and I just happened to notice a couple people inside the Tokidoki store. I walked in and talked to the people working there and it's open! They did a soft opening and the official grand opening will be on Saturday the 7th with Simone Legno doing signings. They have a bunch of bags, toys and practically the entire Hello Kitty x Tokidoki collection. I saved all my big purchases for the grand opening.

Then I went to Kee's Chocolates on Thompson for macarons! I'm absolutely obsessed with French macarons and can never find any really good traditional ones. The best I've ever had so far are from Miette in San Francisco. I can't wait for July, I'm trying to plan another trip out to SF for a trade show for work and I will undoubtebly stock up on delicious Miette baked goodness. Anyway, so Kee's. Apparently I hadn't done my research on these. Their signature filling is a dark chocolate ganache base. I am a good catholic girl and gave up chocolate for Lent. So. No macarons for me. It was a very hard sacrifice to make, they were right in front of me in all of their sugary glory. The flavors that stood out the most to me were the Rasberry and Black Sesame. Oh well, after Easter I'm going to completely gorge myself.

We headed back over to the East Side to stop by some more shops for the guys and Urban Outfitters for me. I like the one on 2nd Ave. much more than the one on Broadway. It's not as busy and messy as the other. I fell in love with two pairs of sandals:


I couldn't buy them, though. I'm a true 6.5US. The don't come in 1/2 sizes and the 6's were too small and the 7's were too big. So now I'm on a quest for the perfect sandals. The fact that we're in the middle of a snowstorm sort of put a damper on that but I will get re-motivated and I will find them. I also picked up a few of the Hello Kitty blind box toys, a scarf, a set of bracelets and a shirt. Here are all my purchases:

When I opened my blind boxes at home I ended up getting good ones! For my Moofia's I got:

I already have the baby bottle at home so I brought it for my desk at work. For my HK's I got:

Brooklyn (top right), Clouds & Rainbows (middle row, last) and the black one with polkadots (bottom left). I didn't have Brooklyn yet, the clouds and rainbows was a double so I brought that to work, too, and the polkadot one is actually the 3rd of that design I have! I think I'm going to give it to Kiera. Speaking of Kiera and HK, last night she told me that a new Sanrio store opened up right here. I'm so ridiculously excited because the one I used to go to in NJ closed a few months back. Hello Kitty and Sanrio are one of my (many) guilty pleasures. I've been obsessed with Hello Kitty for as long as I can remember. At least since I was about 10. Anyway, I'm definitely going to check it out tonight if I have time before dinner.

Tonight we're going out to a fancy dinner with some of our friends to celebrate Sean's birthday. I'm actually really excited, I've been completely craving a really nice dinner lately but we've been working really hard and haven't had the time. I love getting dressed up with my friends and doing adult things.