5 years

I was reading my old journal this morning and found an entry from 5 years ago. My grandma was in the hospital, they had just put her respirator on. My dad had just come home from getting his boat (the Nordhavn) in Florida. It seems like so long ago but it was only 5 years. What's crazy about it is that we've come full circle. This week has mirrored that week almost exactly.

Tuesday morning I got a call from my grandpa asking me to check on my grandma before work because she had come down with pneumonia in the nursing home. I called first and the nurses said she was fine, on antibiotics and resting so I shouldn't come. 20 minutes later I got a phone call from my grandpa saying, pretty much, wtf she's going to the hospital, how is she fine?? Then at 4am they brought her back from the hospital to the nursing home, so I went to check on her before work. She just seemed really tired and drained, which I understood because she'd been all over the place the day (and night) before and was fighting something. Then that night (Wednesday) my aunt called me to say the nurses didn't think she'd make it through the night and we should go and be with her. I went, she looked awful, she was totally unresponsive. It was really hard to deal with but I was glad to be there for her. We stayed until 1:00am then went home to try and sleep. They moved her back to the hospital yesterday, diagnosed her with pneumonia AND a staff infection in her blood. I went to see her after work and she seemed to be doing better. Her hands and feet weren't freezing cold like they were the night before, she was moving around in bed, and they had an actual diagnosis this time. She was on an iv with fluids and antibiotics and the nurse seemed very positive. I'm going to see her tonight after work, hopefully she's doing even better today.

My parents are around North Carolina right now with the boat. They're bringing the Intrepid up to NY from Florida. My mom is so sad and I know she feels an immense amount of guilt for not being here, which she shouldn't. I hope she knows that this isn't her fault and nothing would change if she were here or not.

My mom just called me to let me know that my grandma had passed away. I didn't know if I should delete this whole entry or not, but I figure proper documentation is important so I'm leaving it as is. It's surprising because after last night I was so hopeful but I guess she took a turn for the worse. I'm sad, but grateful for the time we spent together.